[DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two

Cuneyt Goksu

[DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two
Roy,

I also give up saying "dba" and say "doctor"!

They look weird and I start talking about how our job is similar to docs. Diagnose, operation, recipe etc...

It works.

Happy weekend.

Dr. Cu


------Original Message------
From: Roy Boxwell
Sender: IDUG DB2-L
To: [login to unmask email]
ReplyTo: IDUG DB2-L
Subject: Re: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two
Sent: Feb 4, 2011 16:36

Dont know about the rest of the list but my wife still has no idea what I do....at party's I have given up saying "DBA" as the faces just glaze over and so I say "Programmer". Everyone knows what a programmer is and sometimes people then ask "Iphone apps?" and I responds with a wry smile and simply say "Mainframe apps" and then once in my life two guys blew breath out slowly and said "Wow! A *real* programmer" - That made my year Does that really answer the question? No it doesnt but it shows that all that has really happened is the rise of "programmer" and the general complexity of a DBAs life has not changed an iota...okay I admit it I do not miss PSBGENS one single bit but wrestling with the optimizer is like nailing fog to a tree on a dark night sometimes...the phrase "Vodoo Code" has been heard sometimes.... Right enough of this I am off home for large amounts of cold german Beer! Feel free to join me in the ether for some beers at about 20:00 GMT. First round is on me and then Ray pays the rest! Roy Boxwell SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GMBH -Product Development- Robert-Stolz-Straße 5 40470 Düsseldorf/Germany Tel. +49 (0)211 96149-675 Fax +49 (0)211 96149-32 Email: [login to unmask email] http://www.seg.de Software Engineering GmbH Amtsgericht Düsseldorf, HRB 37894 Geschäftsführung: Gerhard Schubert
The IDUG DB2-L Listserv is only part of your membership in IDUG. If you are not already an IDUG member, please register here.

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Max Scarpa

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Cuneyt Goksu)
I stopped to define myself a 'system programmer' or 'DBA' (even worse !)
since many many years. 'I work in a big bank with big and very expensive
computers' is my ultimate definition. I discovered it's well accepted by
ladies during parties with non-tech people :-)).

Anyway there's always something who thinks to be smart saying 'Oh you work
with windows applications ! I've a problem with my Xp/Seven...bla bla
bla'. Unfortunately I can't kill him/her, it's still an offence here (not
for our beloved Prime Minister, anyway).


Max Scarpa

Tsiolkovsky's DB2 axiom: "The equation: Reliable mainframes + Reliable DB2
structures - unrealiable DBAs - unrealiable programmers - unreliable
users gives always a negative number."

_____________________________________________________________________
* IDUG North America * Anaheim, California * May 2-6 2011 * http://IDUG.ORG/NA *
* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
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Max Scarpa

Re: Fw: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Max Scarpa)
Cuneyt

It doesn't work for me, and you know MY doctor :-)

Max Scarpa

Bohr's principle: "Under the most rigorously controlled conditions the
Optimizer will do as it damn well pleases."




From: Cuneyt Goksu <[login to unmask email]>
To: [login to unmask email]
Date: 04/02/2011 16.14
Subject: [DB2-L] Fw: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two
Sent by: IDUG DB2-L <[login to unmask email]>



Roy,

I also give up saying "dba" and say "doctor"!

They look weird and I start talking about how our job is similar to docs.
Diagnose, operation, recipe etc...

It works.

Happy weekend.

Dr. Cu





_____________________________________________________________________
* IDUG North America * Anaheim, California * May 2-6 2011 * http://IDUG.ORG/NA *
* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
http://www.IDUG.org/mentor
Mentoring should be a rewarding experience for everyone...
IDUG is offering up to 80% off when you both come to the conference!
_____________________________________________________________________

If you need to change settings, http://www.idug.org/cgi-bin/wa?A0=DB2-L is the home of IDUG's Listserv

Mick P Graley

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Max Scarpa)
Here are some of my usual scenarios:

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a mainframe DB2 SysAdm."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a cross between a DBA and a SysProg."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after mainframe database systems."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DBA."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I'm a database administrator."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after computer database systems and software."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DB... no sorry, I'm a computer programmer."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 serial killer."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I hit people with the DB2 Admin Guide."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a very large computer manual."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"
Me: "Die! Die! Die!"

Happy Weekend!!!


Cheers,

Mick.


MICK GRALEY
DB2 for z/OS DBA - GOS DBA Service & Capability Centre
CSC

GOS | office: +44 (0)1246 214871 | fax: +44 (0)1246 214503 |
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Brian Goldberg

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Mick P Graley)
I'm surprised that DBAs get invited to parties!

Thanks.

brian goldberg | applications developer iv, distribution applications |information technologies|studio park|484.701.1210 | [login to unmask email]



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-----Original Message-----

From: IDUG DB2-L [mailto:[login to unmask email] On Behalf Of Mick P Graley
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2011 11:24 AM
To: [login to unmask email]
Subject: Re: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two

Here are some of my usual scenarios:

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a mainframe DB2 SysAdm."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a cross between a DBA and a SysProg."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after mainframe database systems."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DBA."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I'm a database administrator."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after computer database systems and software."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DB... no sorry, I'm a computer programmer."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 serial killer."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I hit people with the DB2 Admin Guide."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a very large computer manual."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"
Me: "Die! Die! Die!"

Happy Weekend!!!


Cheers,

Mick.


MICK GRALEY
DB2 for z/OS DBA - GOS DBA Service & Capability Centre CSC

GOS | office: +44 (0)1246 214871 | fax: +44 (0)1246 214503 | [login to unmask email] | www.csc.com

CSC • This is a PRIVATE message. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete without copying and kindly advise us by e-mail of the mistake in delivery. NOTE: Regardless of content, this e-mail shall not operate to bind CSC to any order or other contract unless pursuant to explicit written agreement or government initiative expressly permitting the use of e-mail for such purpose • CSC Computer Sciences Limited • Registered Office: Royal Pavilion, Wellesley Road, Aldershot, Hampshire, GU11 1PZ, UK • Registered in England No: 0963578

_____________________________________________________________________
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* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
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Mentoring should be a rewarding experience for everyone...
IDUG is offering up to 80% off when you both come to the conference!
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* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
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_____________________________________________________________________

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Cathy Taddei

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Brian Goldberg)
Ha ha! Sounds very familiar, Mick. I always start by saying "I'm a mainframe systems programmer," then I immediately assess their computer knowledge and follow up with one of the following explanations, depending on their computer literacy:

I install and maintain the operating system and major subsystems on IBM mainframes.
I work with IBM's DB2 database, much better than Oracle.
I work for large companies that can afford a mainframe computer.
I work with computers.

Then I finish with:
Sorry, I only do Macintosh.
Which ends the conversation, because Mac people can always figure out their own problems and never need my help.

:)
Cathy

-----Original Message-----
From: IDUG DB2-L [mailto:[login to unmask email] On Behalf Of Mick P Graley
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2011 8:24 AM
To: [login to unmask email]
Subject: Re: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two

Here are some of my usual scenarios:

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a mainframe DB2 SysAdm."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a cross between a DBA and a SysProg."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after mainframe database systems."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DBA."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I'm a database administrator."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after computer database systems and software."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DB... no sorry, I'm a computer programmer."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 serial killer."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I hit people with the DB2 Admin Guide."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a very large computer manual."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"
Me: "Die! Die! Die!"

Happy Weekend!!!


Cheers,

Mick.


MICK GRALEY
DB2 for z/OS DBA - GOS DBA Service & Capability Centre
CSC


_____________________________________________________________________
* IDUG North America * Anaheim, California * May 2-6 2011 * http://IDUG.ORG/NA *
* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
http://www.IDUG.org/mentor
Mentoring should be a rewarding experience for everyone...
IDUG is offering up to 80% off when you both come to the conference!
_____________________________________________________________________

If you need to change settings, http://www.idug.org/cgi-bin/wa?A0=DB2-L is the home of IDUG's Listserv

John O'Conner

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Max Scarpa)
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"
Me: "Sure. I'll need a telescope."
Them: "I think you mean a microscope."
Me: "No, I mean a telescope. I want to be as far away from your PC as I can get!"

-------------------------------------
If you don't know where you're going,
Any road will take you there. George Harrison

-----Original Message-----
From: IDUG DB2-L [mailto:[login to unmask email] On Behalf Of Mick P Graley
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2011 8:24 AM
To: [login to unmask email]
Subject: Re: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two

Here are some of my usual scenarios:

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a mainframe DB2 SysAdm."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a cross between a DBA and a SysProg."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after mainframe database systems."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DBA."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I'm a database administrator."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I look after computer database systems and software."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I work with computers."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 DB... no sorry, I'm a computer programmer."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"

Them: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a DB2 serial killer."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "I hit people with the DB2 Admin Guide."
Them: "What's that?"
Me: "It's a very large computer manual."
Them: "Oh, can you look at my PC?"
Me: "Die! Die! Die!"

Happy Weekend!!!


Cheers,

Mick.


MICK GRALEY
DB2 for z/OS DBA - GOS DBA Service & Capability Centre
CSC

GOS | office: +44 (0)1246 214871 | fax: +44 (0)1246 214503 |
[login to unmask email] | www.csc.com

CSC • This is a PRIVATE message. If you are not the intended recipient,
please delete without copying and kindly advise us by e-mail of the mistake
in delivery. NOTE: Regardless of content, this e-mail shall not operate to
bind CSC to any order or other contract unless pursuant to explicit written
agreement or government initiative expressly permitting the use of e-mail
for such purpose • CSC Computer Sciences Limited • Registered Office: Royal
Pavilion, Wellesley Road, Aldershot, Hampshire, GU11 1PZ, UK • Registered
in England No: 0963578

_____________________________________________________________________
* IDUG North America * Anaheim, California * May 2-6 2011 * http://IDUG.ORG/NA *
* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
http://www.IDUG.org/mentor
Mentoring should be a rewarding experience for everyone...
IDUG is offering up to 80% off when you both come to the conference!
_____________________________________________________________________

If you need to change settings, http://www.idug.org/cgi-bin/wa?A0=DB2-L is the home of IDUG's Listserv

_____________________________________________________________________
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* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
http://www.IDUG.org/mentor
Mentoring should be a rewarding experience for everyone...
IDUG is offering up to 80% off when you both come to the conference!
_____________________________________________________________________

If you need to change settings, http://www.idug.org/cgi-bin/wa?A0=DB2-L is the home of IDUG's Listserv

Max Scarpa

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Cathy Taddei)
That's why I add '...big and very expensive computers'....to 'I work with computers', which is reductive....And usually they (ladies) think:

bank ---> $$ ----> big and **expensive** computers ---->$$$ ---> so they spend a lot of money ----> $$$$ -----> so they pay well ---> $$$$$ ----> so YOU earn well ----> $$$$$$ ----> so your bank account sounds nice ----> $$$$$$$----> 'Suddenly I'm interested in this bald guy' -----> $$$$$$$$$ ----> (Try to) LOCK that guy IN EXCLUSIVE MODE -----> (to be continued).

And yes, DBA & sysprog are invited to parties, sometimes they do the party :-)).

Kidding Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been a tough friday :-(

Max $carpa

_____________________________________________________________________
* IDUG North America * Anaheim, California * May 2-6 2011 * http://IDUG.ORG/NA *
* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
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Mentoring should be a rewarding experience for everyone...
IDUG is offering up to 80% off when you both come to the conference!
_____________________________________________________________________

If you need to change settings, http://www.idug.org/cgi-bin/wa?A0=DB2-L is the home of IDUG's Listserv

Aurora Dell'Anno

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to John O'Conner)
I tell people I'm a spy.



Thanks.


Aurora


Aurora Emanuela Dell'Anno
CA Technology - MSC
Sr. Engineering Services Architect
Tel: +44 (0)1753 577 733
Mobile: +44 (0)7768 235 339
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From: IDUG DB2-L [mailto:[login to unmask email] On Behalf Of Daniel Luksetich
Sent: 04 February 2011 14:56
To: [login to unmask email]
Subject: Re: [DB2-L] [FLUFF] No one can afford two



I tell people I brew beer. ;-)



From: IDUG DB2-L [mailto:[login to unmask email] On Behalf Of Roy Boxwell
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2011 8:37 AM
To: [login to unmask email]
Subject: [SPAM] Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two




Dont know about the rest of the list but my wife still has no idea what I do....at party's I have given up saying "DBA" as the faces just glaze over and so I say "Programmer". Everyone knows what a programmer is and sometimes people then ask "Iphone apps?" and I responds with a wry smile and simply say "Mainframe apps" and then once in my life two guys blew breath out slowly and said "Wow! A *real* programmer" - That made my year

Does that really answer the question? No it doesnt but it shows that all that has really happened is the rise of "programmer" and the general complexity of a DBAs life has not changed an iota...okay I admit it I do not miss PSBGENS one single bit but wrestling with the optimizer is like nailing fog to a tree on a dark night sometimes...the phrase "Vodoo Code" has been heard sometimes....

Right enough of this I am off home for large amounts of cold german Beer! Feel free to join me in the ether for some beers at about 20:00 GMT. First round is on me and then Ray pays the rest!


Roy Boxwell
SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GMBH
-Product Development-
Robert-Stolz-Straße 5
40470 Düsseldorf/Germany
Tel. +49 (0)211 96149-675
Fax +49 (0)211 96149-32
Email: [login to unmask email]
http://www.seg.de

Software Engineering GmbH
Amtsgericht Düsseldorf, HRB 37894
Geschäftsführung: Gerhard Schubert

________________________________

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_____________________________________________________________________
* IDUG EMEA * Prague, Czech Republic * 14-18 November 2011 * http://IDUG.ORG/EMEA *
* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
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How can you expand your staff or do succession planning in this economy?
Mentoring is a proven, economical, way to train the next generation of DB2 Users!
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Marcus Davage

Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two
(in response to Aurora Dell'Anno)
That's nothing - I've had at least TWO line managers who didn't know
what I did!



Marcus



From: IDUG DB2-L [mailto:[login to unmask email] On Behalf Of Roy Boxwell
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2011 8:37 AM
To: [login to unmask email]
Subject: [SPAM] Re: [FLUFF] No one can afford two




Dont know about the rest of the list but my wife still has no idea what
I do....at party's I have given up saying "DBA" as the faces just glaze
over and so I say "Programmer". Everyone knows what a programmer is and
sometimes people then ask "Iphone apps?" and I responds with a wry smile
and simply say "Mainframe apps" and then once in my life two guys blew
breath out slowly and said "Wow! A *real* programmer" - That made my
year

Does that really answer the question? No it doesnt but it shows that all
that has really happened is the rise of "programmer" and the general
complexity of a DBAs life has not changed an iota...okay I admit it I do
not miss PSBGENS one single bit but wrestling with the optimizer is like
nailing fog to a tree on a dark night sometimes...the phrase "Vodoo
Code" has been heard sometimes....

Right enough of this I am off home for large amounts of cold german
Beer! Feel free to join me in the ether for some beers at about 20:00
GMT. First round is on me and then Ray pays the rest!


Roy Boxwell


________________________________

Independent, not-for-profit, User Run - the IDUG difference!
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are not already an IDUG member, please register here.
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* If you are going to attend only one conference this year, this is it! *
_____________________________________________________________________
http://www.IDUG.org/mentor
How can you expand your staff or do succession planning in this economy?
Mentoring is a proven, economical, way to train the next generation of DB2 Users!
_____________________________________________________________________

If you need to change settings, http://www.idug.org/cgi-bin/wa?A0=DB2-L is the home of IDUG's Listserv